iSixSigma

Grumpy

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  • #140569

    Grumpy
    Participant

    These kids these days.  Back in my day we didn’t have fancy computers or software packages.  We had to use abacuses, slide rulers and moxie.  Any one using a computer is cheating.l
     
    Grumpy old man.

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    #90787

    Grumpy
    Participant

    Sounds like a homework assignment to me.

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    #89128

    Grumpy
    Participant

    1. Learn the “lingo” for your businesses. High level management loves lingo.
    2. Focus on money, and not anything else. Money is king. Know that lingo too (MBA’s teach you #1 & #2).
    3. Act irrational. You’ll fit right in. The best combination is to laugh very loudly while maintaining a distinct air of concern over the quarterly budget. It also helps to learn to swear at the right times.
    4. Delay making decisions as long as possible. No decision is better than a bad decision. When finally making a decision, have someone else do it so they can take the blame.
    5. Act as macho and manly as possible. Any hint of femininity, and you’re doomed. Glass ceilings do exist (not that it is right – just the other day I noticed that the men’s restroom near the executive portion of my building has twice as many urinals as any other men’s restroom, hmmmm).
    6. Stay away from your office. You’ll look buzy. It also prevents you from having to make decisions (see #4).
    7. Learn Demings 14 points . . . and then do the exact opposite of most of them. Make sure you forget them eventually too, otherwise you might know too much to fit in.
    8. Last, but most important of all: Learn to play golf. It is more important than the MBA.

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    #89077

    Grumpy
    Participant

    I’d tend to add Components (the subparts that make the whole, especially those outside of your control).

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    #89076

    Grumpy
    Participant

    Well put.
    I was a very active BB for 10 years before deciding to study & take the ASQ CSSBB exam. It was a good experience. I’m glad I did it and am proud of my certification.

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    #88815

    Grumpy
    Participant

    After your odd little guessing game last weekend, it sounds like you have reached what I call the “Guru” phase in your career, where you look down on all the little people and smile, much like an owner smiles at a puppy trying to climb over a street curb.
    Who really cares what a “Six Sigma Expert” is? Most of us are busy with the lesser task of trying to reduce costs and drive our products/processes toward customer expectations.
    The bulk of the Six Sigma skills are really quite simple. The tough job is convincing management to take a chance that this stuff really works. Once they do that, the rest is usually history.

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    #88627

    Grumpy
    Participant

    The means have to be normally distributed, not the individual data values.

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    #85511

    Grumpy
    Participant

    Yeah, we’ve found that Word and PowerPoint get expensive too, so we do all our word processing and presentations in Excel too. We’re still trying to figure out how to use Excel for e-mail.

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    #84671

    Grumpy
    Participant

    The sample size depends on several input factors, including the type of test being used for the analysis.
    Minitab is right for the use (test) specified. The others are right for certain uses that may not be specified.

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