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Anything to Add to the Top 10 Most Annoying Management Terms of 2012?

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  • #53880

    John Nycz
    Participant

    In an effort to infuse a moment of brevity into the beginning of the new year, I thought I’d query the community to see if who might be able to add to this list.

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    #191779

    Mike Carnell
    Participant

    John you’re back too. Glad to see you survived New Years (no dancing on the tales like in South Beach?). Happy New Year.

    Where is the list so we can see what is already there?

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    #191789

    Heather Redinius-Tollefson
    Participant

    @Mike: Here’s the list:

    10 – Internalise – As in “What you have all failed to internalise is that there has been a paradigm shift. As a result you are all now behind the curve when it comes to the multi-lateral interoperability needed to realise the supra-organisational mission statement.” Even though there is an awful lot to detest in that statement “Internalise” is the word we most object to. It appears to just means learn or remember but as telling someone to learn or remember something appears instructive, suggesting they internalise it will sound more empathetic, but at the severe cost of sounding like a clone-monkey.

    9 – Hi, I hope all is well – With the birth of the email there came an awkward period when the formality of letters, with their “Dear Sir / Yours sincerely” had to be detuned to fit in with the new immediacy and informality. After a stuttering start the world passed through an embarrassed joint squirm and settled on “Hi” for anything other than legal representations. But 2011 has seen a pernicious ingress of a new form of insincerity with the addition of “I hope all is well” to the “Hi”. Rather than questioning either the validity or sincerity of that statement, we would just ask that the bulk senders of such missives consider where they are sent to, as for many recipients things are blindingly obviously not well. We suggest the only time this greeting is appropriate is when addressed to bore-hole companies.

    8 – Weaponise price opacity – As the scarcity of new Himalayan Pink Salt in the financial market takes its toll on the bottom lines of financial institutions it is becoming more important for them to make sure that they maximise the profitability of existing basic products. Opacity of price is critical in this process but weaponising it? Wow.

    7 – Ideation – What happened to good old “have a think” or “come up with some ideas”? Even running things up flag poles is less irksome than “ideation” which sounds as though it should involve radioactive iodine.

    6 – Stakeholder Community – Not a Transylvanian village but the new plural of stakeholder. Theoretically a stakeholder is anyone who can affect, or is impacted by, your decisions and so could be a lowly minion in your company, but deference only ever seems to be made to “stakeholders” when they are either your bosses, investors or regulators. Please let’s call them who they really are.

    5 – Socialise – When issues got out of hand in the old days you would normally either just tell the boss, or perhaps “take it upstairs.” But now a cunning adaptation of the old mantra of “My profit, our loss” has invoked a caring sharing attitude to screw-ups by “socialising” them. As in “I think we should socialise this issue with senior management and the stakeholder community.”

    4 – Complementary – Odd one this, and it’s really down to our own stupidity, but we have regularly opened emails this year expecting some nice free service only to re-read it and find it’s not “complimentary” but something expensive and homeopathic. We expect the marketing world to soon be jumping on this and emailing multitudes of complementary not-at-all-free offers. Such as Ryan-Air offering “Complementary Flights” which sound as though they are free but are actually expensive and just “complement” what a decent service should be by being dreadful. Or have they done that already? “Complementary” should be banned from subject lines so that the vaguely dyslexic amongst us shouldn’t be taken advantage of.

    3 – Bandwidth – The adoption of IT geeky words into mainstream fashion is nothing new but the latest over-usage of “Bandwidth” by management is particularly grating. Just as “spending more time with my family” has become the acceptable expression of “Just been fired/stiffed/shafted/backstabbed/found out but have photos” so has “I’m sorry I can’t action that, I don’t have the bandwidth” become the generic replacement for “I don’t have the time/resources/authority or inclination.” But the saddest part is the way it’s used under the false allusion that “bandwidth” is new and fashionable. Our grandmothers, thanks to broadband adverts and home routers, know what bandwidth is so please, unless you are the type of person who still uses “groovy” in the boardroom, please drop “bandwidth.”

    2 – Geosourcing – Why you lose your job to someone in a different part of the world. “The support function has been geosourced” or “How’s the front office geosourcing project going?” It’s the sharp end of a simple belief of ours that if there is someone able and willing to do your job for less than you, you are toast. But the use of “geo,” which has connotations of environmental friendliness married to “source,” which conjures images of babbling fresh springs in the mountains, results in a super-eco word which actually means “You’re fired.”

    1 – Reaching out – TMM first came across 2011’s winning term in July and since then it has spread like wildfire, which has us looking like Irish Riverdancers as we try to stamp it out as fast as we can. The origins and epidemiology of this disease has us suspecting it’s the product of some Class of 2011 Management School somewhere. It really is complete and utter rubbish. If you are about to call an investor for some documents you don’t “reach out to the client,” you phone or mail them. If you want to know why a trade hasn’t settled you don’t “Reach out to Bangalore” you “call back-office.” So let’s just kill that one right now before someone gets accused of molestation.

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    #191803

    John Nycz
    Participant

    Hi Heather – well done. The link must not have posted. Mike – good to see you too Will you both be in Orlando next week?

    Oh – Mike, I’ve lost some weight, but the vision of me table dancing scares even, well, me!

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    #191804

    Heather Redinius-Tollefson
    Participant

    @John…Oh, the link posted alright…Mike just didn’t look close enough to see that it was an embedded link. ;) Sometimes we have to take care of ol’ Mikey… :)

    Not sure yet about Orlando. Can you promise me you won’t be table dancing??

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    #191805

    Rod Morgan
    Member

    “We need to give 110%!!!” Not necessarily a management term, but possibly has it’s origins in Canadian hockey? This phrase only makes sense when applied to interest on department store and other credit cards! lol. Speaking of overextended credit, Happy 2012 to isixsigmites. And… WELCOME BACK Mike (Cyger).

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    #191814

    Linda Cadigan
    Participant

    Ooof. If I never hear verbs used as nouns I’ll be a happy woman. “What’s the ask?” Drives me to lamp-shade wearing.

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    #191833

    Mike Carnell
    Participant

    Heather – I do appreciate the help – this is why Mike sends me little videos instead of saying “ok stupid just listen.”

    I know this is old but Passive aggressive absolutely p*sses me off (the * should make it ok – it is even done that way in the title of a book – “Sh*t My Dad Says” which is the funniest book I ever read but I didn’t write it so I am not self promoting). There is no such thing as passive aggressive. It is simply a politically correct way of saying someone lacks integrity but you just can’t say that directly because they want to be treated like a Fabrege Egg.

    I want people to stop saying that there is no such thing as a stupid question. There are lots of stupid questions. If you don’t think so teach a BB class sometime.

    Talk windows – WT* is that? If you want to know when I have time to talk just ask.

    Ok Linda I did that the other day – verb as a noun but wasn’t sure what you call someone who pontificates.

    I really hate to hear “you need to think out of the box.” Next time you hear it just say “I’m sorry I don’t understand what you mean. Will you please tell how you have done that recently?” It always seems like the dumbest management people say that.

    Program of the day and it isn’t a silver bullet are just about equally stupid. There seem to be things that stupid people say trying to sound intelligent and be involved in a discussion that they are completely clueless about.

    The dumbest thing I hear is “we’re different.” That means simply – Leave us a lone we don’t want to change. We are ejoying our ignorance. We will get back to you when our lack proactivity has us just about out of business.

    This could go on all night.

    Just my opinion

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    #191838

    Arcchana
    Guest

    Ratings/Designations do not matter. Focus on doing only good work. results will follow!!

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    #191840

    John Nycz
    Participant

    Talk window! Be careful… If you open up your talk window who knows what passive aggressive birds might fly right in.

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    #191844

    Ken Feldman
    Participant

    At Giganto Consulting they used “capacity rebalancing” as a polite way of saying, “Your Fired!!”.

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    #191845

    Mike Carnell
    Participant

    The cool part about having someone ask about your talk windows is that you know immediately you don’t have any.

    Darth – it appears that Gigantico has left you with a little PTSD

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    #192199

    John Nycz
    Participant

    Just heard another annoying management term:

    Manaumation

    Taking a bad manual process and automating it so you can do more of wrong work faster.

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