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Certification via Vulcan Mind Meld

Six Sigma – iSixSigma Forums Old Forums General Certification via Vulcan Mind Meld

This topic contains 15 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by  Cravens 12 years, 5 months ago.

Viewing 16 posts - 1 through 16 (of 16 total)
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  • #46010

    lin
    Participant

    I see that there is an organization called ISSSC offering Lean Six Sigma Black Belt training AND CERTIFICATION based on a 35 hour class, in-class project, and test.   ISSSC must have developed very advanced technology for knowledge and skill transfer in order to cut the normal training time for this body of knowledge from 4 weeks to less than one.  Surely they have not elected to take any short cuts on the body of knowledge since, after all, they do cover all of the “the seven primary tools and review of others”.   Maybe they are using a variant of the Vulcan Mind Meld to acheive such stunning training productivity.  Just think of the gains to society if their wonderous new methods could be widely applied to other educational fields, such as brain surgery and structural engineering.  I don’t know about the rest of you, but my next hire will definitely be someone certified by ISSSC, because this accelerated approach surely represents the best-in-class training and certification method.
     
     
    Maybe the

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    #151428

    qualitycolorado
    Participant

    Scotty,
    Beam me up!  There is no sign of intelligent life on Planet ISSSC.
     
     

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    #151434

    Dr Michael Hooray, BA, PhD
    Participant

    I’m head of the MYSSI. I have SS certificates on special, for this week only, for $59.99.  Limit one per customer.

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    #151441

    BTDT
    Participant

    QC:Their students show a lot of potential too, one testimonial reads:”Great Class, you have an talent for teaching. Your class was one of the best I have been to. “- PeggyA preposition is a terrible thing to end a sentence with.Cheers, BTDTBTW – You have an impressive library of resources. Thanks for sharing it so often.

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    #151450

    BTDT
    Participant

    SSS:I looked at the site again to find,”I have been through a number of training sessions for GreenBelt and BlackBelt and you made what is rather a bland topic enjoyable.”I wonder why the candidate had to go to classes so many times?Cheers, BTDT

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    #151445

    Six Sigma Shooter
    Member

    The really sad thing is that it is headed by a former president of the ASQ.  They call their program “Total Six Sigma.”  Egads!  I think I will trash my ASQ membership.  Here’s some of their other stellar testimonials.
    “On a personal note – I did incorporate the training process with my waterskiing and improved! I qualified for Nationals next year which is very exciting for me”

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    #151452

    Six Sigma Shooter
    Member

    Oh yeah!  I loved that one, too.  Especially the last part of the quote where they say “I intend on using the training if the opportunity should ever arise,” or something to that effect.  It is downright discouraging!  But, as the good Dr. D. always said, “Beware the hacks among us” and that “Survival is not mandatory.”  When looking at the site, I am left asking if it is all just a bad joke or if they really are serious.  The saddest part is . . . they are serious.

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    #151451

    BTDT
    Participant

    Bill:From the site:”ISSSC uses the applied LEAN Six Sigma method when teaching, allowing students to learn the entire methodology in a shorter amount of time, saving both time and money.”This is what gives some people the impression that Lean Six Sigma is like regular Six Sigma, but with one-third the calories.Cheers, BTDT

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    #151453

    mand
    Member

    Nah, LEAN SS just doesn’t stand up … that’s why it’s leaning

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    #151462

    Six Sigma Shooter
    Member

    No, Marlon – or whatever your name for the day is – I’ve had one of their certified types on a team I worked with.  I was not impressd, though he was better than some of the other “certified” BBs on the team.  They were all so very proud of their BBcertificates and so very short on knowledge and ability.  They could not understand the need to go out into the work area, document the current process and gather baseline information.  They were just too comfy in their cubicles, playing on their computers and doing pretty bar charts.  One of them had no clue what a confidence interval was and why one would use such a thing.

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    #151458

    Six Sigma Shooter
    Member

    It all reminds me of a spoof article written back in the days of TQM, called “PQM: Partial Quality Management.”  Takes half the time and effort of TQM and you get 50% of the results (maybe).  Just right for the busy manager on the go! 
    Will they never learn?  There are no short cuts – no instant pudding.  Continual improvement requires the elements of continual learning, adopting and application.  It is never ending.  And, in the case with these guys, even the comment “How could they know, there was no one to teach them?” doesn’t ring true.  They should know better.  It all comes down to trying to shortcut things in order to ring the cash register – nothing more, nothing less.  Good thing it’s raining, today . . . I can go for a walk outside and hide my tears.

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    #151460

    Allthingsidiot
    Participant

    Go  for  Villanova

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    #151463

    Savage
    Participant

    I believe the correct sentence is:
    “A preposition is a terrible thing with which to end a sentence.”
    Of course because “with” is itself a preposition.

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    #151464

    BTDT
    Participant

    … and “All generalizations are false”Cheers, BTDT

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    #151467

    e
    Participant

    Don’t waste the tears.  In a society where you can get educated by Sparknotes, dine via the drive-thru or Dream Dinners, get fit in a 15-min. workout — why should we be surprised when Six Sigma Instant Soup hits the shelves?  It probably appeals to the same segment that made Six Sigma for Dummies #28 out of the 3,435 books listed on Amazon.com about Six Sigma and Lean manufacturing.
    SO ….. in this erudite Six Sigma community, how would one go about separating the chaff from the grain?
     

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    #151468

    Cravens
    Participant

    Anyone who has been stupid enough to pay for an SS certificate isn’t real bright.

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