Quality and the meaning of life

Six Sigma – iSixSigma Forums Old Forums General Quality and the meaning of life

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    Must be the silly season

    No qualityLife is a bitch, then you die. TQMLife is for everyone and we all ought to get it right. BPRGet everyone in to a room. Document what life ought to be. Get the sack. Six SigmaEveryone is a clone without variation, centered exactly between birth and death. LeanLife is a big rush and all the wasteful parts need to be removed (birth, marriage, divorce and death etc all on the one certificate and ceremony). Sleep is wasteful. KanbanWhen someone dies, we all get pulled through to the next stage and someone is born. KaizenWe all form circles and constantly seek the meaning of life. Perfection is life without defect. BenchmarkingLook at everyone else’s life and see how they do it better. PDCAGet family planning, get a life, get a life check, act. Repeat per generation. ISO 9000Life is documented, you live, and you get audited. CMMLife is lived on levels. Level one is disorganized. Level two is organized. Level three is organized and measured. Level four is organized, measured and improved. Level five is bliss. No-one knows how to get to level five. ASQTo live life you need to be examined and certified. Deming85% of the problem is life itself, not the person living it. CrosbyLife is free. TaguchiLife is a “loss function”. The more off target you are the more it will cost you. IshiwakaLife is full of bones. That’s the problem. Customer focus (CRM)Life is full of promise, but rarely delivers. Balanced ScorecardLife will cost you, will make you work, will make you learn, and will affect others. PughLife is a selection. Some of it is the same, some better, some worse. Take your pick. ShewhartLife can be controlled by charts. Charts separate the normal life from the special life. Charts only work when you are normal and stable. Bill GatesLife will be upgraded next year with several new features. Last year’s life is still being fixed. Please check back soon. 



    Dont forget MBWA (Manage by walking around)
    Quit looking at my live, it already sucks, live someone elses.



    Don’t forget.
    Malcolm Baldrige National Quality Award (MBNQA)
    Life is not about winning but the knowledge/experience gained by trying to Win.



    Hello folks,
    May I add……
    DPMO – Who cares how many DMPO there are – just one defect in life is one to many.
    BB(Blackbelt) – Big-headed Bastard for life.
    Project Selection – A useless project that no one else wanted to do in their life.
    Six Sigma Shift – Who cares in this life or the next one?
    Jack Welch – said, “Didn’t I buffalo them all – whats GE stock price today thanks to 6S coming into my life?”
    Jack Welch’s Replacement -said, “Jack really screwed me for the rest of my life with all that 6S crap!”
    Billybob – said, “I need to get a life!”

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