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Six Sigma Jokes

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  • #34822

    “Ken”
    Participant

    Maybe this is a weird request, but I’m in search of a few Six Sigma jokes that I can share with my classes.  Anyone know any?

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    #96461

    mman
    Participant

    I heard that workers at GE used to say “Six-Sigma Week-end” instead of  “good Week-end” hahahahahaha.Also you can create some jokes by manipulating “Six” with “Sex”.Also some “gnorant “persons think it is a trade-mark or it is a new fast food type.But I think the best joke is inside the fact statement that  NASA is running with less than 3.5 SIGMA??Do you agree with me?? kind regards.  MMAN 

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    #96464

    “Ken”
    Participant

    Thanks!

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    #96465

    luke skywalker
    Participant

    While not a true “Six Sigma” joke, I use this one with GB classes and it gets a good reaction (well, sometimes…):
    3 statisticians go deer hunting. They creep out through the brush and find a good place to hunker down. Soon, a big buck walks up – and the first statistician hops up and shoots! Misses 10 feet to the right. The second statistician hops up and shoots, missing 10 feet to the left!
    The third statistician jumps up and yells, “We got him!”
    Cheers.

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    #96467

    Mikel
    Member

    mman,
    If you think those are jokes, you’ve got an odd sense of humour.
    NASA is less than 3.5 by the way.
     

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    #96470

    aBBinMN
    Participant

    Don’t know if it truly qualifies, but there’s this one from Dilbert: “I don’t know how to do anything; I only know how to do things better. It’s about process.” Come to think of it, Dilbert’s had a few of them.
    In the windshield replacement industry, there was the popular, “Black Belt means I’m trained to break windshields with my bare hands.” This can be adapted to just about any repair service or process.
    Then there’s, “How many Six Sigma Black Belts does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but they’ll need 3-6 months and a cross functional team to do the actual work.”
    Sorry, but you didn’t specify that you wanted the jokes to actually be funny.

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    #96473

    aBBinMN
    Participant

    I think there are a few Six Sigma deer hunting jokes…
    Why don’t Six Sigma Black Belts hunt deer? Black Belts need 3-6 months, but deer season is only 2 weeks.
    How do you tell the Six Sigma Black Belt in a deer hunting party? He’s the one who wants to run an MSA on whether the deer is actually dead.
    How can you tell that a deer stand is used by a BB? The control charts pinned to the tree.

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    #96474

    luke skywalker
    Participant

    Excellent! Might have to use them in class as well.

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    #96475

    Stevo
    Member

    Have you heard this one:
     A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust clouds towards him.  The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Bans and a YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”  The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his flock and calmly answered “Sure”.
     The yuppie parks his car, whipped out his notebook and connected it to a cell phone, the surfed to a NASA page on the net, where he called up a GPS navigation system, scanned the area, then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas.  He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response.  Finally, he printed up a 150-page report on his hi-tech miniature printer, turned to the shepherd and said, “You have exactly 1586 sheep.”
     “That’s correct, take one of the sheep.” Said the shepherd.  He watched the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.  Then the shepherd says: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?”  “Ok, why not” answered the young man.
      “Clearly you are a Six Sigma Black Belt.” Said the shepherd.  “That’s correct, but how did you guess that.”  Said the yuppie
      “No guessing required,” answered the shepherd. “ You turned up here although nobody called you.  You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don’t know crap about my business.  Now give me back my dog.”

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    #96476

    mman
    Participant

    Thank You Stan for immediate response.I agree with you .Hope that I have trigger interest to allow presenting  “real”jokes.Acting sometimes as a “Scapegoat” would help to build useful debate opposite to ignoring some important unique questions like yours .kind regards.
                                                                                  MMAN 

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    #96477

    BB student
    Participant

    a dog…man that was a superb joke…..that BB did not know what he was working on and still got the result…
    good one buddy…send some more of this type
     
     

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    #96501

    Tierradentro
    Participant

    Hmmm.  Last time I heard that one, it was an ‘Accenture’ joke.
    But I guess it works for BBs too.
    How about this one?
    A man is walking across a foggy field, when he hears a voice calling from above.  Looking up, he sees another man, in a basket suspended below a balloon.  The man in the basket asks, “where am I?”
    The guy replies, ‘you are in a basket, suspended below a baloon, floating roughly 30 yards, (+/- a foot) above the ground’.
    Basket-man answers, “You must be a statistician, right?”
    ‘How do you know’
    “Well, your answer is technically correct, but totally useless…”

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    #96506

    Tim
    Member

    Love means never having to say you’re sorry…Statistics means never having to say you’re certain. (Apologies to Erich Segal)

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    #96510

    mman
    Participant

    Odd sense of humor???
    To be honest :did you laugh at any of the other jokes that were presented until now??
    The contest is still open….Any real joke,please go ahead as we are still waiting .I could not even smile until now.Thanks for the efforts…….

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    #96515

    SS Joker
    Member

    Attended training once with a couple of BBs who created something called a Six Sigma BS Bingo.
    Since the instructor insisted on using the same expressions and technical jargon repeatedly, they passed around this bingo sheet with these expressions to all students in the class. Phrases like Six Sigma, Pareto, Control Charts, Hypothesis Testing, P-value, etc…
    Whenever someone was able to complete their card, they would sneeze and shout “BS”.
    Instructor could not really understand what was being said but students all had laugh outbursts following very sneeze…
    Instructor finally caught up with the joke and institutionalized the bingo for the rest of the training sessions.

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    #96516

    DaveG
    Participant

    What did the female BB tell her significant other?
    I’m not in the muda.

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    #96517

    SS Joker
    Member

    Other statistical ice breakers…
    “99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name…”
    “There is always a 100% probability that a piece of toast will land buttered side down on new carpet.” – Corollary of Murphy’s Law
    God is Real, unless declared Integer
    Once a wrong idea about reality has been formed, it becomes more difficult to discover the truth .
    As you approach the answer, the question will begin to change
    Repeat after me: “we are individuals”
    Those who can, do; those who can’t, simulate
    A pessimist is an optimist with data.
    Maybe today’s my day…But with 5 billion people in the world, what are the odds.
    Good judgement comes from experience…experience comes from poor judgement
    If variety is the spice of life…I’ve got heartburn.
    Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
    I’m out…
    SS Joker

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    #96518

    Tim
    Member

    I like an expanded version of the balloon joke….A man is walking across a foggy field, when he hears a voice calling from above. Looking up, he sees another man, in a basket suspended below a balloon. The man in the basket says, “Excuse me, but I told a friend I’d meet him about half an hour from now, but I seem to be lost. Could you tell me where am I?”The guy replies, “You are in a basket, suspended below a baloon, floating roughly 30 yards, (+/- a foot) above the ground. You are approximately 32.45 degrees north latitude and 87.11 degress west longitude.’Basket-man answers, “You must be a statistician, right? “How did you know?” “Well, you gave me an answer which is technically correct but doesn’t actually tell me anything. You’ve put me even farther behind schedule and I doubt now that I’ll meet my friend in time. Frankly, I’d have been better off if I hadn’t even stopped to talk to you.””Well, you must be in management,” replies the man on the ground.”How did you know that???””Well, you have reached a high place, mostly as the result of a lot of hot air. You’ve made a promise that you have no idea how to keep. I’ve given you exactly the information you asked for and I tried to be helpful, but now you are blaming me for your problems!”
    Tim

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    #96565

    Mu Joe
    Participant

    I read somewhere that approximately 37% of quoted statistics are just made up on the spot.

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    #96572

    aBBinMN
    Participant

    The version I heard involved a Republican and a Democrat, but this probably isn’t the forum for that one.

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    #96581

    Anonymous
    Participant

    You should apolgize to Al & Tipper Gore as well since that story was based on them — years before the former VP invented the internet though…  :-)

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    #96597

    Sammy
    Member

    Tell it !  tell it ! It´s gonna land among friends……
    By the way, if I´ve put one hand into a Zero Celsius degree crunched iced pail and the other hand into a Fifty Celsius degree hot water bowl, then in the average I´m enjoying a mild 25 Celsius degree hands bath.
    My $0.02 :-)             Sammy

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    #97326

    mman
    Participant

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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    #97339

    K.Sathya Narayanan
    Participant

    Mman,
    This site is viewed and participated by professionals worldwide, please stop putting up such questions, which makes no sense, and useless theories on NASA. Understand that NASA is less than 3.5 in six sigma.Here after please come up with quality questions, and relevant replies. Hope to see a professional touch on your postings.
    K.Sathya

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    #97344

    mman
    Participant

    First I should respect your point of view,second I should tank you for advising me to put “professional”questions.Third I wonder if my “NASA SS Score”was “ridiculous” according to your “respecful” opinion.Just explain to me the huge ammount of responses and comments and feed-back??Please compare those responses and comments to other questions posted in this site.I believe that all those professional wise experts who contributed seriously and put their remarks and trigger such a “great” (lifelike) discussion and debate were not “jerks and stupid”.last who assigned you to act as “advocate” telling others what is right and what is wrong??I think you should mind your own business and correct your self and try to be more “professional”by listening to the others,and not only believing in your “ego”……….MMAN    

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    #97346

    Cordell Fife
    Participant

    Hi Mman,
    I understand your pain, but erad etiquettes of using this Forum, though other professionals have made some contribution, it is you who initiated this questions, should I call it as time pass. I am bringing you the gist of a the etiquette put on Forum, so before bouncing from your seat, relaise your mistake.One of your message contains sick laguage, hence you are requested to change your stand.
    The gist of forum rules:
    6.Be considerate to others. It should go without saying that you should treat others as you would like to be treated. If needed, iSixSigma Community moderators will delete repetitively rude, obnoxious and abusive forum posts. Moderators also have the ability to ban users from posting to the discussion forum entirely, but we hope to never use this functionality.

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    #97353

    Baker
    Participant

    I think Mman has crossed his limits by posting obusive language, and such people must be thrown out of forum, and this forum is seen by many professionals across the globe, and there are various sites available for people like Mman, and his associates. Thanks to Sathya and Kim for bringing it to light and dumping such articles.It is high time such messages must be reported as spam.

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    #97381

    noname
    Participant

    I read one story from a Chinese six sigma forum, a company in China faxed a purchase request to a six sigma consutant to order “black belt” as a gift for their employees.

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    #97396

    mman
    Participant

    Jason?Watch your language:”thrown-out”,”dumping articles”,”Spam”….etc.Do you thing it is “etiquette” to use such words?Do you think it is respectful to talk like this.I believe  that I have not violated  any “etiquette”.My post  regarding  the “NASA SS SCORE” was very professional  and I have received many “knowledgable”feedback from real  “professionals”,even several “REAL”SS  Experts have enjoyed the discussion and the exchange of ideas and I have benefited a lot from those inputs.I have put many ‘professional” contributions in this respectful  forum ,much more than those pretenders??Finally if you think this “forum’belong to you ,then go ahead and “throw me out”and my “associates” and let us enjoy reading your “—————“comments and articles.If you judge my articles as “dumping”then avoid reading them,but I will continue putting my “professional”efforts and time ,excahanging comments with respectful peoples and even enjoying that. kind regards.
                                                                                 MMAN  

    I will ignor your answer and I will try my best to avoid reading your “input” ,with your friends……………. 

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    #97398

    mman
    Participant

    Thank You.kind regards.    MMAN

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    #97399

    Mikel
    Member

    Hey! Are you trying to take my job?

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    #97400

    mman
    Participant

    Stan ….I’m just suppoting you,I have always admired your “attitude”……Regards.     MMAN

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    #97404

    Cao
    Participant

    The jokes are SS !.
    The balloon joke version I know involves a consultant (it could be a BB consultant !).
    Jokes are SS to release some pressure from work stress, but I wonder if time spent on this type of forums should be considered MUDA ?
    Godspeed to you all !
    (that should be considered a 3.5 S expression, don’t you think ?)
     

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    #97408

    Heebeegeebee BB
    Participant

    Man, I hope you are kidding…
    Mman and stan, I’m with you guys…some stuffed-shirts just have no sense of humor.
    Seacrest OUT!

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    #97415

    Mike Carnell
    Participant

    Jason, Sathya, & Kim,
    You really need to step back and take a serious look at what you are objecting to. Some may consider the comments obnoxious but the characterization of obusive language is a little on the sensitive side. If that post offended you you need to get as far away from SS as possible because at some point you will be pushing an unpopular change and it could get so bad you may actually have to eat lunch by yourselves.
    Wrapping the term “professional” around yourselves does seem a little subjective and pompous as well. We used to see that a lot when people we classified as “not a team player.” I really hope that if youn are serious about SS deployments you don’t carry that “I’m the standard for professionalism” into team selection. You will end up with what they call “Group Think.” You all need to get a copy of a book called “The Deviants Advantage” by Watts Wacker and learn to appreciate the Fringe Dwellers a little more.
    It is always interesting to see people advocate censorship. For some reason it always looks like a bad idea until something offends us personally.
    Good luck.

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    #97421

    J P Rothery
    Participant

    Hi Noname
    Would you please tell me which Chinese Six Sigma forum was it? I would like to have a look.
    Thanks
    J P Rothery
     

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    #97448

    BLOCKED
    Participant

    ~BLOCKED~

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    #97452

    M. Bishop
    Participant

    Very Very Well Guys !
    Good demonstration of SOFT SKILLS !! (It’s not a joke)
    Be cool …Be fast (in answers , thinking and projects) …and show the money !! (it’s a joke)
    Bishop
     

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    #97454

    Prince David Michael
    Participant

    Any real jokes here?  I seems none of you have attended my seminar “21,101 Things a Black Belt Must Know”

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    #97456

    M. Bishop
    Participant

    my dear Prince
    If you really think there is in the world a new joke…then you are joking…!
    The real value  I read here is the spirit of ours BB, MBB, ex-MBB, ET’s and so on…..Keep cool !
    kind regards, Bishop

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    #97460

    Mike Carnell
    Participant

    I have a copy of a “Top Ten Reasons to be a Black Belt”  that we created.

    Top 10 reasons to be a Black Belt

    10. The close support and involvement of the champions.
    9. You really enjoy driving change from the bottom of the organization.
    8. You have had an infatuation with Mr. Miyagi since the first
    time you saw The Karate Kid – wax on, wax off.
    7. A burning desire to having your boss refer to your
    work as “the program of the day”.
    6. Listening to your boss complain about getting to buy you a
    laptop computer.
    5.You have always wanted to be able to use the word heteroscedasticity.
    4. You can understand most of the questions and a few of the
    answers on iSixSigma.com™
    3. You always wanted to “fail to reject” something
    2. Watching people you thought were adults make stupid little karate
    gestures when they meet you in the hall.
    1. Reading about statistics finally cured your insomnia.
     
    #8 courtesy of Rob Tripp
     
    Good Luck

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    #97471

    mman
    Participant

    Mike:I really enjoy those Jokes.I appreciate your wise attitude
    regarding “accepting different opinions ‘in this forum as it is a free space for all participants ,to enjoy reading and exchanging opinions.As Deming said”People are seeking  joy  in work”.If  we enjoy “contribution”in this forum we have some respect to each other ,we will build enthusiasm and try our best to put our honest opinion and exchanging  experience…….otherwise……I appreciate personally your point of view and I have great respect for your “real’professional’input.kind regards.      MMAN 

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    #97472

    sanjay yadav
    Member

    This is the site to have knowledge about six sigma methodologies and not for sharing jokes . Pl. open the site santa / banta if you are intrested in jokes.
     
    regards
    sanjayyadav

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    #97475

    mman
    Participant

     Narrow minded and Horizon.Lack of sense of humur.I’m adding more jokes if you are interested.  Kind Regards

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    #97476

    mman
    Participant

    Hi Mike:I enjoy your “selected”jokes,allow me to add the followings”:
    *Wrapping  the term professional  around yourself (it was extracted from your last post).
    **Advocating  the bad practices of your company instead of giving attention to your customer’s complaints.
    ***Prepare yourself for a future  career after leaving your organization,with possible little investment  from your own pocket.
    ****Repeating  “buzz’words about  being  “unique”,trying to convince others in the vague illusion that you are leading your organization  towards “Excellence”
    *****Suggesting to throw-out “MMAN and his associates” from this FORUM.
                         Courtesy of “MMAN”
                                                                         Kind Regards

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    #97477

    Mike Carnell
    Participant

    Sanjay,
    I have not noticed that rule posted anywhere. Where was it that you found that?

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    #97478

    Mike Carnell
    Participant

    mman,
    Thanks for the compliment.
    George Carlin made a great comment on television the other night. “When you are born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you are born in the US you get a front row seat.”
    I am glad you enjoyed the list. We made t shirts with it on them (the iSixSigma crew has some – if you are new it was a while ago).
    Uno mas:
    11. You understand that culture change has nothing to do with yogurt.
    Good luck.
     

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    #97515

    Diaconu
    Participant

    Sanjay,
    If you’re doing Six Sigma, one of the tools you’re going to need is a good sense of humour…for your own good and the good of those who are working with you. As a statistic (unfounded as it is) one can generally guage the interest in a particular subject on this forum by the number of different post and posters that it attracts….this one has more than most.
    Laugh and the world laughs with you
    Mia

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    #97521

    sweettalker
    Member

    We need some good jokes in the SS BOK, to be used as tools for breaking down cultural barriers. That’s my professional opinion.

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    #97533

    Sold Out
    Member

    Thanks for all of the enlightenment over the last few days.  I have replaced my Session IV “Process Modeling” with “Humor Mapping” (we have a dedicated form built in VISIO, you just have to fill in the blanks with the details of your project).
    Coming Soon…
    Funny Bone Analysis…
    Sold Out
     

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    #97538

    Cao
    Participant

    With globalization being a leading force for SS Projects around the world, incorporating tools for breaking cultural barriers is a “must have” for the SS BOK.
    Whether humor makes a good tool to break cultural barriers is something that has to be proved, but it sure makes a good starting point.
    SS projects are human endeavors, so any SS pro must deal with people issues from the get-go, and humor is the perfect weapon: jokes do have a place in ISixSigma !

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    #97539

    kramerjj
    Participant

    Gen, I totally agree; jokes can break a bad day….To reiterate what someone posted in a previous thread: Lighten up people!

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    #97655

    Sarika Tyagi
    Member

    Hello
        Everyone ,
                I am a frequent user of this forum for six sigma as i m doing my Masters thesis at Northeastern University on Six Sigma. I just happened to come across this mail message containing subject “Six Sigma Jokes” and trust me i was really fascinated and tempted  to read a few. But to my disappointment, all it had was a couple of abusing mails from one person to another, everyone trying to prove the other person with no etiquettes. I am really not sure of what kind of people are participating in this discussion. But i personally feel that no one was being kind enough to show their humanity towards others. Every single person was as impolite and offending as every other person. I have no personal suggestions for anyone but this definitely doesnt reflect a professional behaviour on such discussion forums. It is true that such forums are viewed worldwide and are respected a lot and they expect the same from all the users.
            I would simply suggest, that this discussion of etiquettes and blame should be brought an end and feel that everyone in this world understands the language of peace and love. If some one wants to convey such messages in the group, try to be polite and see the difference. Never forget you reap what you sow.
       I am extremely sorry if i have interrupted or offended anyone in the group. Enjoy life and lets all participate in some really knowlegde sharing discussion which could be anything, but impolite and offending. Have a great day!!
    Sincerely,
    Sarika Tyagi
     
     
     
     

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    #97660

    Bill Ahls
    Participant

    Sarika,
    As much as I would hate to lose the entertainment value of watching the kids bicker (works better than coffee), I must agree with you and also say that I appreciate your input. I don’t think they’ll listen though :)
    Bill

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    #97661

    Steve Clapp
    Member

    Q: How many Black Belts does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: It doesn’t matter.  By the time the team completed the Cpk, CTQ, R&R, QFD, DOE, 5S and SPC, it was daytime again and the customer didn’t need the light bulb any more.

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    #97662

    aBBinMN
    Participant

    Did you read down to the string of posts starting with Luke Skywalker’s on March 5? Maybe they’re not exactly Leno material, but there were a couple that merit a pained smirk, at the least.
    By the way… Did you hear the one about the Six Sigma comedian?

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    #97663

    Mike Carnell
    Participant

    sarika,
    Same thing as the other folks – you have a personal opinion of “profesionalism” & “politeness” etc. This discussion forum is like television. If you don’t like what is on the channel – change it. This discussion group goes hard all day, most days. If a string bothers you try another. Getting emotional because they(we) don’t fit your definition it will get you an ulcer and have zero effect on the group. OK maybe a card – maybe an ecard.
    I have looked for a quote about humor that I got from a Jimmy Buffet book or something and finally found it (a little late for the string but it fit at the time): “Terror is the absence of humor and humor is the absence of terror.” Lord Buckley
    Guess when that one came out.
    Good luck.

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    #97681

    SStb
    Member

    Sarika,
    Why don’t you be a Six Sigma embassador of LOVE and PEACE to stop such WARs in this forum?
    My sincere advice to you.Why not focussing on good posts only? Your advice is appreciated but will seldom be followed by those who will keep continuing with abusive posts, and this seems to be a periodic event and natural looking at past couple of years posts. Dont be too emotional in such cases. Keep reading good posts. I will put such events as “Common causes” considering the variety of people participating in this forum from all across the globe. They will happen.
    Maybe, you can rethink of your program and think about the above role. Six Sigma anyway will not continue eternally, so with your views on humanity why not spending time as an embassador for the welfare of human kind.
     
     

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    #97716

    heebeegeebe BB
    Participant

    “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…ad inf…”
    Sounds like the teacher from the charlie brown cartoons.
    Here’s a joke (of sorts):
    “How many non-humorless six sigma-types does it take to bring the whole group down?”
    “-Last count, about 3 to 4.”
    “bada-bing!”
    “Sincerely”,
    Heebee CMC (Certified Master Chimichanga)

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    #97717

    PB
    Participant

    Hello SS practitioners,
    Even if the subject is Six Sigma Jokes, one must respect the response of the individuals who have disagreed and take their inputs seriously. One must stay within the realms of the requirements of the forum and not create threads which are outside of these boundaries.
    With that said, relax everyone, it is afterall April 1. If you took this seriously, the SS jokes’ on you.
    One must have fun!!
    PB

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    #97724

    Heebeegeebee BB
    Participant

    HAH HAH!!!!!!!
    Good one, Steve!
    -Seacrest OUT!

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    #97744

    mman
    Participant

    I believe one person can do the job and furstrate many participants,may be it is 8 sigma then?   Kind Regards.

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    #97752

    aBBinMN
    Participant

    Q: A forensics expert walks into a room with a bunch of dead Six Sigma Black Belts who show no visible signs of injury. What’s the first thing he should check for?
    A: Poisson distribution.

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    #97753

    aBBinMN
    Participant

    Q: What did the Black Belt say when people complained of the intermittent stench emitted from the wastewater treatment facility?
    A: Shift happens!

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    #97755

    aBBinMN
    Participant

    Q: What type of control chart do you use for tracking drug testing that uses urine samples?
    A: p Chart.

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    #97756

    aBBinMN
    Participant

    Why did the psychiatrist finally give up on trying to help the Six Sigma Black Belts?
    They kept regressing.

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    #97784

    Vikas Pandey
    Member

    The good thing about humor is it gets the message across very nicely as does the coaching.
    It is good to see lots of people in support of this thread.
    This is not a joke but ” Defines what Life is as per Quality Professional”
    Quality And The Meaning Of Life
    No quality – Life is a bitch, then you die.
    TQM – Life is for everyone and we all ought to get it right.
    BPR – Get everyone in to a room. Document what life ought to be. Get the sack. Six Sigma – Everyone is a clone without variation, centered exactly between birth and death.
    Lean – Life is a big rush and all the wasteful parts need to be removed (birth, marriage, divorce and death etc all on the one certificate and ceremony). Sleep is wasteful.
    Kanban – When someone dies, we all get pulled through to the next stage and someone is born.
    Kaizen – We all form circles and constantly seek the meaning of life. Perfection is life without defect.
    Benchmarking- Look at everyone else’s life and see how they do it better.
    PDCA – Get family planning, get a life, get a life check, act. Repeat per generation.
    ISO 9000 – Life is documented, you live, and you get audited.
    CMM – Life is lived on levels. Level one is disorganized. Level two is organized. Level three is organized and measured. Level four is organized, measured and improved. Level five is bliss. No-one knows how to get to level five.
    ASQ – To live life you need to be examined and certified.
    Deming – 85% of the problem is life itself, not the person living it.
    Crosby – Life is free.
    Taguchi – Life is a “loss function”. The more off target you are the more it will cost you. Ishiwaka Life is full of bones. That’s the problem.
    Customer focus (CRM) – Life is full of promise, but rarely delivers.
    Balanced Scorecard – Life will cost you, will make you work, will make you learn, and will affect others.
    Pugh – Life is a selection. Some of it is the same, some better, some worse. Take your pick.
    Shewhart – Life can be controlled by charts. Charts separate the normal life from the special life. Charts only work when you are normal and stable.
    Bill Gates – Life will be upgraded next year with several new features. Last year’s life is still being fixed. Please check back soon.
    Hope you will appreciate life more after reading these
    Regards
    Vikas Pandey
     

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    #97858

    mand
    Member

    Hola Ken : Creo que lo siguiente es más una “reflexión” que un “chascarrillo” (joke). Ojalá te sea de utilidad :
    La ESTADISTICA en manos de un buen Green Belt, conocedor de su especialidad, es como el poste del farol de una calle para un borrachito :  le sirve más para apoyarse en ella, que por la iluminación que le proporciona.
    Saludos,  SAM.

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    #97860

    mand
    Member

    Hola aBBinMN:
    La versión en Español a tu mensaje es que se necesitaría utilizar una gráfica de control de Chi-cuadrada
    Saludos SAM

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    #97862

    chaosnhumour
    Participant

    Gentlemen,
    In chaos lies the unity of knowledge and ignorance, wisdom and stupidity thus a population of known and the unknown…….on reflection it makes one smile..
    Humour has no boundaries and infact has a certain mischief element to it.
    To the ones that have goals and objectives there is an intensed desire to create boundaries around the essential make up of humour ….chaos.
    Let the organized lament the chaos of humour !
     
    Hello to  Mike Carnel…….when you think out of the box …….you step into a larger box !
     
     

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    #97868

    Mike Carnell
    Participant

    Chaosnhumour,
    Hello. Everyone here found your post interesting and some even profound.
    Since I wasn’t raised by someone named Skinner I would like to think I live in a fairly large box.
    Good luck.

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    #97869

    Mike Carnell
    Participant

    SAM,
    Que onda? Lo mejor de un borracho guindado de un poste es que esta mas seguro que ambulando por la calle oscura donde los borrachos estan manejando.
    Saludos,
    Mike

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    #97934

    Bob J
    Participant

    Ken,
    Check this out  http://www.gregssandbox.com/grules/engineer.htm 
    Written for engineers but some of it could be easily reworded for SS… ;-)
    Enjoy!
    Bob J

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