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  • #30173

    Anonymous
    Participant

    I am working on a presentation on How to Select Six Sigma projects.  I always like to inject humor anytime I give a speech and thought it would be funny to come up with a David Letterman-ish top 10 list of “Signs you have a bad Six Sigma Project”
    Your ideas and suggestions will be welcomed but MUST be humorous in nature.
    Thanks in advance!

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    #78347

    Anonymous
    Participant

    Here’s a start:
    The project charter is written on a sheet of toilet paper…. Used.

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    #78350

    husker
    Participant

    … If the combined IQ of your team members is lower than your Process Sigma.
     

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    #78351

    Anonymous
    Participant

    That’s GREAT.  Thanks.
    Here’s what I have so far:
    The Project Charter is Written on a Sheet of Toilet Paper…Used.
    A Team Member Thinks that the p – chart is Supposed to be Posted Above the Urinal in the Men’s Bathroom.
    The Project Charter has Osama Bin Laden listed as a “Team Member”.
    “So They’ll Quit Fussin’” is listed in the ‘Benefits to External Customer’ Section of the Charter.
    Team Members Bring Pillows to the “Gage R&R Study”
    The  “Capability Sixpack” Involves Budweiser and a Stopwatch.
    The Project Report is Written on a 3 x 5 Index Card.
    Arthur Anderson listed as “Financial Accountant”.

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    #78352

    husker
    Participant

    ….. You hold brainstorming sessions at Anna Nichole Smith’s house.
     
     

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    #78353

    billybob
    Participant

    Hello,
    Your project will fix itself during the measure phase, and no one will know why.
    Later,
    Billybob

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    #78354

    billybob
    Participant

    Hello,
    The operators on the team see your team meeting as a breaktime.
    Later,
    Billybob

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    #78355

    billybob
    Participant

    Hello,
    The blackbelts in the factory know they are better than everyone else.
    The blackbelts in the factory show conrol using 6 month old data displays.  And they are proud of it!
     
    Later,
    Billybob

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    #78357

    Anonymous
    Participant

    Ok.  HERE’s what I have so far:
    The Project Charter is Written on a Sheet of Toilet Paper…Used.
    A Team Member Thinks that the p – chart is Supposed to be Posted Above the Urinal in the Men’s Bathroom.
    The Project Charter has Osama Bin Laden listed as a “Team Member”.
    “So They’ll Quit Fussin’” is listed in the ‘Benefits to External Customer’ Section of the Charter.
    Team Members Bring Pillows to the “Gage R&R Study”
    The  “Capability Sixpack” Involves Budweiser and a Stopwatch.
    The Project Report is Written on a 3 x 5 Index Card.
    Arthur Anderson listed as “Financial Accountant”.

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    #78358

    Heebeegeebee BB
    Participant

    Your Champion signs your charter in Crayon…and his/her signature is followed by a little smiley-face.
    -Heebee

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    #78360

    Anonymous
    Participant

    Good one!

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    #78370

    Robert Butler
    Participant

    Management thinks that DMAIC is a selection criteria for members of your team and that it stands for Doesn’t Make Any Important Contribution.
    Your champion thinks that rumor, innuendo, and hearsay are the only tools you need for the Define, Measure, and Analyze phases.

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